May 7, 2012
*WARNING!*
The following image might be disturbing to some pathetically weak individuals, specifically those who shit gold coins, have porcelain lovely complexions, and were voted "prom queen" in 12th grade.
Don't ever fucking say I didn't warn your silly ass.
This is my zit. It has been bothering me for a week. A whole fucking week. Sarge tried to pop it two days ago. Yes. That's right, fuckers. We pop each others' zits. What the FUCK do you think two people who have been married for 18 years do? It's sort of like one of those monkey grooming videos on Nat Geo. Although it does sort of creep me out when he watches me shave. Mainly because the frosted glass on the shower door makes him look less like him and more like some vague, nameless peeping tom with a shaving fetish.
Regardless.
Damnit. I've been saying that word far too much lately.
Regardless.
DAMNIT.
Okay. So. I am open to suggestions. Of course, I could always leave it alone, but where's the fun in that? There needs to be some sort of deep sense of gratification that comes with a good squeeze. You know? Please tell me you know. Because if I'm the only one who knows, then I just totally embarrassed myself.
Boring people would probably tell me to use a warm washcloth and whatever, blah, blah, blah.
That's why they're called boring people.
Should I name it? I mean, it could sort of pass for a parasitic twin, yes? I could name it Evil Aimee! It could be like that movie Total Recall! That slimy Kuato character that lives in that one guy's stomach!
^^ Evil Aimee!! ^^
I love that movie, by the way. I'm probably the only girl who does. The 3-tittied chick was the best!
Regardless.
DAMNIT!
So anyway. Evil Aimee's gotta go. I mean, if it actually imparted soul-awakening wisdom in perfectly crafted proverbs that would be one thing. But it's just kind of sitting there.... just.... being gross, you know?
Anyway. Sorry if I ruined your lunch.
Evil Aimee just wanted to say hey. You know..... soooo.....
It almost looks like a staph bump did sarge get anything out of it?? Get a big sharp pin and let him stab it. Then all that yummy goodness should squirt right in his face :)
ReplyDeleteNaw, he didn't get anything. He said it was too deep. I've just been letting it simmer for the last couple days. I'm gonna let him fool with it when he gets home. I swear it's starting to feel like it's going to sprout legs and arms any second....
ReplyDeleteI have to rid his back of black heads... Love is gross.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried showing it to every single cashier in pharmacies and ask their opinions? You need to start flashing that new titty growing behind your ear! Liberate it! The extra airing out will help it too!
I am SO GLAD I'm not the only woman on blackhead duty!
ReplyDeleteSarge got a little bit out this evening. It looks so damn ripe for the pickin' in the picture. I figured it would most certainly explode if he simply looked at it wrong. Grrr....
Have you tried good ole' fashioned zit cream? Get something with 10% benzoyl peroxide and slather it on several times a day. Or you can try toothpaste.
ReplyDeleteWhen you finally get a good head on it, that's the time to soften the skin and then stab it to pop it. I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you this............ :lol:
Please let us know if if explodes. I think I would be relieved by proxy. I don't get zits often (and never when I hit puberty) but as a 40 year old I get one or two every six weeks or so in the form of a cyst--they won't relent for anything. They absolutely cannot be forced, cajoled or begged to give up the material. They finally subside but leave a redness which fades to darkness that takes a while to fade. I'm getting really pissed about these hormonal changes. I want the days where my zits would come to a head overnight and gloriously expel.
ReplyDelete