June 29, 2011
Check one off the bucket list, folks. I have had my iced tea and doughnuts with Ms. Holding Company herself. And, as I predicted, she set me straight.
"Oh chile, doncha see? If you're dead, you ain't got nuthin. But, man, if you're not afraid to die, then you're free. Ain't it wonderful?"
And then she said,
"To hell with all the speculatin, man! For the record, it was a fuckin accident, aight?"
And then she said,
"Oh, and you're smokin hot. I'd tap that."
From the mouth of the Sandpaper Diva herself, lovelies. Ain't no denyin.
June 21, 2011
It's storming here.
Electric.
The best kind.
Nothing quite like a good squall to remind you how insignificant you really are.
Here, on this planet.
Life isn't a gift or a blessing, but simply a circumstance.
This curious state of self-awareness we find ourselves inhabiting is so arbitrary.
But somehow the feel of life,
the way is wriggles inside me, pulses and vibrates and dances in the pit of my stomach
gives me pause, and a bit of respect for the circumstance in which I find myself,
a bit of respect for my very existence and simply being aware of it.
This accident of cell division
This afterthought of brain structure
perhaps what could have simply begun as a misfiring of synapses
This feeling of life tickling and licking my innards
seems an unfathomable maelstrom of
awareness on fire.
June 7, 2011
If you were not aware, we had some pretty gnarly weather here in the NC back in April. A tornado missed our neighborhood by a couple hundred meters. It was pretty damn scary. Just up the street, literally walking distance, was all kinds of damage like nothing I'd ever seen before, even growing up in Alabama. There's a neighborhood I run through every morning where some of that damage remains, and the pattern is just.... well.... strange. Probably 40 or 50 houses in the whole neighborhood, maybe half have some kind of damage, even if only minor. The other half are completely untouched. A very few houses, maybe 5 or 6, are total losses. But those 5 or 6 are oddly scattered in between completely untouched houses. Finally, I grabbed my phone as I ran out the door this morning so that I could share with you what I think is irrefutable proof of the existence of god. I have had a lot of time to ponder this, so I'm pretty sure I'm right. Mainly because I am never wrong. So it just makes sense. Anyway. Kirk Cameron ain't got nuthin on me.
This house is an excellent example. The house right next door is virtually untouched save for a few shingles missing on the roof. Obviously, the family to whom this house belongs has been slacking on their tithing lately. That, or they've been skipping Sunday School in favor of making it to the Golden Corral buffet before the rest of the congregation.
Damn Wiccans defiling such an upstanding, middle class, god-fearing neighborhood. This oughta teach them a thingertoo.
SATAN WORSHIPPERS!!
Clearly, the Almighty is not happy with their extracurricular swinger parties after Wednesday night choir practice.
Ahhhhh...... This must be Rev. Fuckmeintheass's house. Obviously, the tornado struck before he got caught playing super secret naked time with the church secretary.
So, there you have it, folks. No question, unarguable scientific proof of the existence of our lord and savior, the nature of his blessings, and the devastation of his wrath. I dare you to prove me wrong.
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