February 26, 2011
For my new readers who don't know, my husband has multiple sclerosis. And he is on active duty in the US Army. And he's gone right now. He isn't deployed, and he isn't in combat or anything, but he is on temporary duty away from home. I don't bitch about this often. I don't even talk about it often. So, I figure I at least get a freebie every once in a while. Today is my freebie. So either read it, or move along. Nothing to see here.
His MS medication is taken in the form of a weekly intramuscular injection. This is an 1-1/2 inch needle straight into the thigh muscle. He's only been on this medication for 3 or 4 months, and he still has wicked side effects. Flu symptoms, uncontrollable shaking, sweats, fatigue.
When he's home, I give him his shot, he's able to go straight to bed and sleep it off. But since he's been gone, he's had to give himself his shots. And it's killing him. He hates it. He's miserable. And I can't help him. I feel helpless.
He's been in the Army for 17 years. He's still having to be an active duty soldier in a leadership position while suffering from the symptoms of his MS, and the side effects of his medication, all while being a husband and father. And right now, he's alone. And I'm alone. He's dealing with his MS alone. And I can't help him.
So, I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself right now. Because Friday is his shot day. And I've just been sitting here on my lazy ass all day long knowing that he's miserable, and there is absolutely nothing I can do.
On the bright side, I had a wicked conversation with a 15-year-old boy today about aunt flow. Periods. Menstruation. The Red Tide. Eve's Punishment. That sort of thing. It was pretty fucking hilarious, actually.
My kids have zero inhibition when it comes to asking me shit. NONE. ZERO SHAME. No hesitation whatsoever.
So I get slammed with in-your-face questions like, "So, does it squirt like when you see someone's throat get slashed in a horror movie, or does it come out slow, or is it like the same way as pee?"
And, "How much comes out? Can't you die from losing too much blood?"
And, "Do tampons hurt?"
And, "Why do you get cramps?"
And, "Why do you get bitchy?"
And, "Should I tell my girlfriend that I can tell when she's on the rag, or would that embarrass her?"
And, "So lemme get this straight. The egg comes out of your ovary, goes down your fallopian tube, and sticks itself onto your uterus, right? Soo..... draw me a diagram here. What exactly happens next?"
Have I mentioned before that I have the most AWESOME. KIDS. EVER?
So, this has been my Saturday. Sitting on the couch twiddling my thumbs because I'm worried about my husband. And fielding a barrage of questions from totally shameless, unapologetic teenage boys about periods.
It's a fucking banner day at 666 Psycho Street today, folks. Someone come help me suck down this bottle of cheap wine, puh-leeeeeeeze?