December 8, 2011

Now I See.....

December 8, 2011

…why normal people send their kids off to school. Oh yes. NOW I see. Days like today, when I counted down to 3:45, begging for those 2 hours of peace. Drove the boys to their driver’s ed class. Twenty minutes early.

To which Jake responded, “We’re 20 minutes early, what should we do?”

To which I silently replied, “I don’t give a FLYING FUCK what you do, just get the hell outta my truck! GO! Wallow in public school mediocrity and inferiority! Join a gang! Give someone a swirlie in the bathroom! Pick on nerds and make inappropriate sexual advances toward 15-year-old girls in mini skirts! I truly DON’T CARE!” deeeeeeeep cleansing breeeeeeeath……..aaahhhh……..

(Dear Jake: I know you read my blog. I don’t really mean any of this. I’m just trying to be funny. *Wink*)

And the cherry on top?

Sarge called on his way home from work, somehow, miraculously knowing, and with perfect timing, asks “Do you need me to get the boys on the way home?”

Ummmm…..YEEEEESSSSSSS?

I have never in my life been so happy to have a babydaddy as I was at that very moment. Nevah.

Oh, and the supercherry? Yes. There is such a thing as a supercherry. Shut up.

Sarge is taking Andrew to his dentist appointment tomorrow morning because it’s at 9:00 and I just don’t fucking want to. *Crossing arms and poking out my bottom lip.*

Babydaddies fucking ROCK.

That will be all.

6 comments:

  1. no one deserves a babydaddy supercherry more than you!! gawd now I'm craving one ..wonder if nestle makes one..

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  2. Well, sweet. Here's to overachieving baby daddies and homeschooling mommies.

    The real miracle?

    When your kids are pretty normal, non drug addicted (or using), weapon free citizens after 13 years of public school.

    About to get one out and into college with a big, fat scholarship (Thank you God).

    Here's the worst thing about public school--other parents. That's it. The bottom line. I've wanted to seriously smack the asinine shit out of some parents over the years.

    Tenured teachers may get all the blame, but they aren't the issue. There's not enough Prozac in the universe for me to deal with the progeny of meth-addicted, Mountain Dew swilling hillbilly parents or their narcissistic, apathetic wealthy counterparts.

    It's effing bad enough to deal with the effects of unmitigated reproduction when I shop at Lowe's or eat out.

    Geez. Sorry, it's a little pet peeve of mine. But I feel much better now.

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  3. Picking on nerds: Not my thing

    Swirlies: Not my thing

    Gangs: Not my thing

    That hot chick always showin' leggage and eye-raping me: Legend - wait for it - dary!

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  4. Oh Barb, other parents! YIKES. I got a teeny weeny taste of that fun while coaching soccer and playing treasurer for their cub scout pack. OH. MY. MERCIFUL. SAVIOR. It almost made ME want to join a gang and slam someone up against the lockers. Never in my life have I seen fully grown adults degenerate into illogical, semi-retarded, railroading, pig-headed, moronic buffoonery at such lightening speed. Parents of school-aged children should truly be recognized as its own species.

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  5. And for the record, I was underhandedly making fun of pretentious homeschoolers more than I was insulting public schools with my "mediocrity and inferiority" comment. Just in case no one caught that ;-)

    And @Jake- I think "eye-fucking" is the preferred colloquialism. Much less politically incorrect, yet equally offensive.

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  6. I did take it as a primarily honest portrayal of public school. Yes, all mine go. And they are pretty ok-well, more than ok. But it's not because they went. It's because I told them early on "There's no excuse to make anything less than "A's" with today's public school curriculum." If they make less than an "A" in behavior, it's on. Yeah, I get a lot of looks when I tell other parents that, usually the parents I am wishing would STFU when they say in front of MY kids they are paying their kids $20 per "A".

    There are great reasons kids can now go to school online in this state (probably yours, too). Order the books on the state's dime and keep the kiddies home.

    Employers can weed out the miscreants. It's only fitting that parents be given an option to use their tax money on alternative education. Public schools no longer really work. Parents don't do their jobs and school administrations don't have the legal tools to make it a secure learning environment.

    I'm thinking my youngest child will not finish out in public school.

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Suck on my crap