May 3, 2011
I apologize in advance to anyone who will inevitably be offended by the following rant. But if I don't get this out, I'm going to explode. I've been dealing with this for months now. Maybe longer. It has been slowly percolating deep in my gut, threatening to boil over in a disgusting mess of gut juice.
Deep breath......
Old Navy's sizes are A FUCKING JOKE! What the ever lovin FUCK are they doing? They can't be fucking serious. What the hell does "small" even mean anymore? Are they marketing to giant trolls now? Why was I not informed of this? Seriously. When I was a kid, small meant SMALL. For FUCKING SMALL PEOPLE. Not "kinda small so normal people can buy a small and it will make them feel better, so they will buy more clothes from us." That is so beyond fucked up, I can't even explain it. They've even resorted to using the term "extra small" now. I suppose as a consolation to those of us who are 1 size away from NOT BEING ABLE TO FUCKING SHOP THERE ANYMORE. But what? What is that? You say "extra small" is STILL TOO BIG? Holy mother mary! I can't even begin to imagine who their size models are. Russian women? Kaminoan women? You know, I understand I am on the extreme side of the female size range. I get it. Really, I do. And I am not asking them to make an entire line of clothes just for me. Although, now that I think about it...... No. I can't possibly be the only one who has noticed this "size adjustment" that has been going on with clothing manufacturers over the past, what, decade? I have NEVER in my life worn the size jeans I have to buy. NEVER. Not even in my earliest memories have I worn a GODDAMN SIZE ZERO. That's the most ridiculous shit. It doesn't stroke my ego. It's a fucking insult. And their shirts? Extra small? For REAL? Who the fuck is this supposed to fit? Extra small body builders?
So, I either shop at another store or go naked. I hate shopping. So, ummm..... yeah.
Fuck and damn.
That is all.
13 minions who have sucked on my crap:
I have noticed that!! Their sizes are most certainly labeled smaller than they should be.
Well. I believe the term is "vanity sizing" and it usually runs rampant at the higher end department stores. You may wear a -4 in one of those stores. Gosh forbid someone pay a fortune for a pair of pants and have to cut the tag out because it's SO embarrassing. I don't shop Old Navy (much) for myself, but my son does. He's a real small dude. He wears slims at every store. He wears slims at Old Navy. Basically he can walk into just about any store, pick up 12 slim off the rack and wear it.
My youngest daughter wears a girls' size 10 from there and she's 7. Yes, she's tall with a larger frame for her age. She wears the same size at Target, et. al.
My neighbors are Russian first generation immigrants. Their daughters are tall, slim and knock-out gorgeous. Come to think of it, I've seen a wave of Russian people immigrating here and they make me feel downright dumpy by comparison-long legs, short skirts, eff me boots. I hope to God they aren't using Russian models for American sizing. My husband swears they are making clothing with Chinese and Hispanic people in mind. When I stand beside a Hispanic man, I really do wonder where he purchases his jeans. I'm an average woman and feel like an Amazon.
I do a LOT of thrift store shopping for myself. I usually buy Gap, Eddie Bauer and Tommy Hilfiger jeans. I bring a tape measure with me. They all measure the same waist and hips for the same size. Rise and inseam will be different of course, but I think they are right-sized. But again, the size I wear in TH is the size I can wear from Wal-Mart.
My personal beef with fashion these days is the origination of the idea that it's ok to look like a total frump at the grocery store--pajama pants and slippers-the epitome of sloth. If'n I don't live with you or invite you over for a slumber party, I don't need to see your nighttime wear.
I have the same problem at Old Navy. Damn those skinny booty reading assholes.
see also: victoria's secret.
since when are c-cups a doubl d?
since we all are supposed to want falsely inflated egos to match our false breasts.
fuck you old fucking navy- i'm no a small or even a medium, and my ass doesn't ever want to be a tiny one. i'm happy being curvy and such, no complaints from any lovers thus far.
and fuck you victoria, the real secret is that you are a fucking whiney dude tranny fucker wannabe. and fuck your "angel" models.
give me a fucking break.
thanks and good night.
@ Barb- Vanity sizing? Pft. Can't believe they actually have a name for it! Crock of shit. That's what I call it. I despise shopping for clothes with every fiber of my being, so it's going to take A LOT for me to actually try another store. A LOT, like going naked for prolonged periods of time.
@ Violet- Oh sweet. I've not seen you here before. I'm pretty sure I love you. My VS problem was the other way around, though. I could have sworn I wore a C, but alas no. Victoria says I wear a B... I still love her, though. She makes my ass so colorful. I hope you stick around. Your liberal use of the most wonderful word in the whole dictionary has stolen my heart.
Yaaaay! Finally someone else who feels the same way about ON! I stopped shopping for the same damn reason! And also VS. First of all I'm a double D and there's no way in hell anything in there is going to fit me. Bleh! I hate them! Ok, I feel better now. I hope you do as well!
Yea this would be why I only shop at Thrift Stores. Nothing beats the Goodwill baby oh yea!
crossing my fingers for going naked...hahahaha!
They aren't fooling anyone. I know I am not a size 6, I am a solid 8, and them telling me I'm "skinnier" than I know to be true just makes me feel like they think I am stupid and vain enough to believe the lies. Good rant, and for sure needed to be done!
I noticed that, too!! Also? New York & Company are the same way!
YAY! Finally someone I can relate to! All my friends are *ahem* zoftig while my hated childhood nickname "Skinny" still 'fits'. Still, I'm NOT a 4!! Yet that's what Coldwater Creek says I am. It's embarrassing! Oh, have you tried Chico's? Sizes 0, 1 and 2. That's it! And 0 is too big for me! Can't even shop there. Disgusting! (and yes, I'm far older than you but I gave up on a**-creeping VS underwear a few years ago. . .)
@RQ-
1. Zoftig? Excellent. Oh how I love words!
2. I haven't worn jeans from anywhere but Old Navy in years. You know, once you find that perfect pair, you have to keep going back for more. But the problem is that there goddamn sizes are changing! So, I'm wearing a size 2 if I want them to be a bit roomier and a size 0 if I want them to actually fit like skinny jeans are supposed to fit. The way their sizes are changing, I won't be able to shop there at all this time next year.
3. I FUCKIN LOOOOOOOOVE VS! Really. Like, I'm addicted to buying panties, I think. Yeah. I'm weird like that.
Amen sista! Could not have said it any better! I stopped shopping at Old Navy long ago.
BYW, percolating...Best Word Ever. I use it all the time "I'm going to let that percolate and get back to you."
Also, have to say I'm glad I wasn't drinking my coffee when I read this, b/c after your first paragraph I was ready for something really controversial, something that tends to offend people - religion, politics, the righ to life! the right to choose! - and then I read "Old Navy's sizes are a fucking joke!" Had I been drinking coffee I would have spit it all over my desk. Seriously LOLing going on over here. you are a master of the unexpected.
Post a Comment
Suck on my crap