March 18, 2011
This week's Red Writing Hood assignment is to write - fiction or non-fiction - about a time when you took a detour. Where had you intended to go and where did you end up?
Clearly I took a bit of poetic license here. Ha. Get it. Nevermind.
I wracked my brain for days over this one, considering my life is just one huge detour on the scenic route. But no matter how hard I smashed my noggin, nothing fell out.
So, I decided to change it up a bit. And write about a decision- whether or not to take that detour. This is all I got. And then I put a really cool song after it so you can forget about the garbage that is my poetry.
_______________________________________________________________________________
You tempt me with words
like hot coals that linger
and smolder
but never quite blaze.
The dance of your fingers
has twisted my rails
more than once, more than twice
in a day.
You maraud dirty corners
secrets under floors
and pocket my truths
like they’re yours
One toe in your hand
one toe in the dirt
pirouettes
On a silk carrefour
Should I curl in your crook
trace your smile with my nails
fall in leaves
that weren’t raked for me?
Or stay in my cage
on this darkling road
with a compass
but never a sail
13 minions who have sucked on my crap:
I love me some Dinosaur Jr.
Oh and great job on the post.
I think you have a great knack for poetry. I like this.
There was a song after? I couldn't find it for the amazing poetry.
Aww shucks ya'll.....ya'll made me say ya'll....dayum...ahem...bollocks...yeah.
your poetry is not garbage. nope! well done.
Stopping by from TRDC
You did great on this...poetry isn't easy, and this is really good!! Stopping from RDC.
I read this poem aloud and loved how the words sang from my mouth. You are an excellent poet and I enjoyed this poem very much:~)
Love the license that you took, love the poem, love the song.
Don't self deprecate- you rocked it! :)
I agree with Galit, self deprecation isn't necessary here.
You maraud dirty corners
secrets under floors
and pocket my truths
like they’re yours
I loved that these lines could be about so many things, which is really when you know you've written some nice poetry/lyrics.
I don't know for certain what you're talking about but I could read your poetry all day. I love the meter of "The dance of your fingers
has twisted my rails more than once, more than twice in a day." Plus, I think the term "twist my rails" is hella sexy.
Beautiful. Amazing. I loved the words in this. It sound fantastic whether read out loud or in my head. It could mean so many things. That's the sign of good poetry. Nicely done.
Here from TRDC.
Sorry for the nearly week late comment. But here I am, and I *love* this stanza:
You maraud dirty corners
secrets under floors
and pocket my truths
like they’re yours
this I can see, really see and feel. Also? maraud in all its forms is a word I love. Truths as secrets, secret truths.. Good stuff here.
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